Let's face it, to most women, men are a massive mystery. We spend so much of our time thinking and over analyzing about all the ridiculous things that men do....ridiculous things that they probably don't even have the slightest clue that they are even doing. The worst part about all of this over thinking crap, is that it has the tendency to make us come across really, really annoying. We annoy our friends, our men and there is no way that we are not annoying ourselves! Imagine for just a moment, what it would be like if the guy in your life dissected every little thing that came out of your mouth, got an attitude if you were busy and couldn't text him back right away, or fished for a compliment every time you two were going out on a Friday night. It is impossible to not admit that you wouldn't be an annoyed Amelia. I know I would sure be! You can be the sexiest, smartest, most hilarious gal in all the land, but if you're annoying--your man/ any man is going to get sick of you. Fast.
I, of course, am concerned about this phenomenon that I am identifying as the "annoying epidemic" and wanted to dedicate this blog to bringing a necessary awareness to it. If I can help one reader minimize their annoying girlfriend/jump off/whatever title you give yourself, levels, then I can sleep easy knowing I helped to maximize someones "I'm cool as shit" levels. Truth be told, I believe that every human being on this planet has the innate capability to be the coolest of cats, 24-7. All it takes is some self reflection and the application of some slight personal changes to reveal it to the world! And let's be honest, this world could really use more cool.
6 Ways How To Not Be An Annoying Girl
1. Do not ask your significant other/ any man if you look fat: Okay, so I know that sometimes we lovely ladies wake up feeling like beached whales. Beached whale mornings and days really bite. I know how tempting and easy it is for us to turn to the leading man in our life to make us feel better about ourselves, because after all, isn't that his job? Regardless, I sincerely urge you all to resist this temptation.
You might be asking "why can't I ask if I look fat, Bcoll$--what's the big whoop?" WELL, for starters- if this man you are annoying is your boyfriend, baby daddy, boo- thang, FWB, side piece or sugar daddy, then I think it is safe to assume that he is currently giving or has at some point in time has given you the D. If a dude if dicking you down, then that means that he is attracted to you. If he is attracted to you, then he has good reason for it. He is not fornicating with you because he thinks you are grossly fat, in fact, he probably thinks you're really great looking and wants you to think that about yourself as well. And if by the slim chance that he does think of you to be Wanda the Whale, then that is exactly how he likes you. Deal with it.
No man that I know wants to spend their time reassuring any girl of their looks, it's a blatant display of your insecurity and we all know that insecurity does not reflect positively on us. So, if you are feeling like plump Paula, call a friend, wear something flattering or take a trip to the gym and remember that the people in your life like you for YOU, not for how small (or thick) the circumference your waist is.
2. Have your own life: I know that when you're in love, like or someone has casually got your vajayjay whipped, it is easy to want to spend an enormous amount of time with that special person. However, if you are always up your boy toys ass, it is inevitable that he will start to get sick of you, regardless of how wonderfully amazing and interesting you are. A way to avoid this kind of situation is to simply have and embrace your own life! Find the balance between in spending a healthy amount of time with your love bug, and still maintaining your own independence and social life. Not only will this help to decrease your annoying levels, it will also ensure that you don't compromise who you really are and what you like to do, for any other person!
3. Keep it Spicy: From my observations and experiences, annoyance levels in any kind of relationship, really set in when your daily interactions become monotonous. Routine is healthy to a certain extent, but if there is no element of surprise or spontaneity you will without a doubt become bored at some point or another. So, make sure to spice up your life every now and then, in or out of the bedroom. Whip up a delicious meal out of the blue, sneak attack and wake up your man while he is sleeping with some unexpectedly, unbelievably fantastic fellatio, plan a getaway for a night or two...do anything, just make sure you keep things fresh. I bet you 20.00 that you will not regret it.
4. Easy on the constant contact: These days, it is super simple to be in constant contact with anyone, boo thang or not. I have seen far too many ladies get their panties in a twist because their guy wasn't responding to phone calls or texts but was pretty active on twitter, facebook and/or instagram. To this, I say, take a chill pill. Although I recognize how annoying this type of this behavior can be, you will come across 10x more annoying by making it a federal case. 9 times out of 10, your dude just got sucked in by the black hole that is the social network sphere and will get back to you as soon as he gets in touch with reality again. On the other hand, if you happen to notice that your texts and phone calls are being ignored on a regular basis, then perhaps this guy is attempting to lamely send you a message; a message we all fear to receive...he's just not that into you. If this is happening to you, I suggest you throw up your pointer and middle finger and stereotypically mutter "deuces."
4. Don't be a jealous freak: Jealously is an ugly, good for nothing disease. These days, jealously runs rampant and is plaguing relationships of all kinds, everywhere. I view jealously as more of a symptom of a larger and more serious issue. Lot's of times someone will become jealous because of their own deep seeded insecurities, "daddy- issues" or it can stem from past relationship experiences that have nothing to do with your current one. If you happen to be a jealous Judy, I challenge you to question yourself as to why? It's imperative that you figure it out because there are not too many men out there that will deal with crazy, jealous behavior for too long.
5. Don't Be A Crazy Chick: The fact that so many of our intimate relationships these days are being kept casual, has played an intricate part in the rise of crazy chicks. Women from all over, are becoming increasingly confused about where they stand in the relationship (or non- relationship) with the main man in their life. Ladies, if you are confused about whether or not the guy you hump a few times a week wants to make you his girlfriend, then please seek clarification from him. NEVER assume. Beyond that, if you are not his girlfriend then do not act like one. Do not go out of your way to do nice things for him, do not send him X rated photos unless he sends you one first and most of all, do not expect him to behave like a boyfriend because he is not your boyfriend. The last thing I want for any woman is to be labeled a stage 5 clinger. Yikes.
6. Have Some Fun: Relationships of any kind most definitely require work HOWEVER there should be an equal amount of play. Life is short guys, enjoy the time you have with the one who has your hearts attention. It is also incredibly important to remember that nothing is more annoying than a boring Bertha. So do your best to not be one of those.
Gentleman, don't think for one second that you are not guilty of being JUST as annoying as the ladies, because you most certainly have your moments. I addressed this blog to the fabulous females because of one reason and one reason only; women care more. Men are great in so many ways but lets face it, they just don't care about the same things that humans with the XX chromosomes do. The bottom line here is ladies, let's get it together a little bit, settle things down and embrace our inner cool. At the end of the day, it will benefit everyone.
PS: I already think you're the coolest,
Bcoll$
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