Thoughts About Threesomes

Two Sundays ago, I received a call from a friend that I have literally known since the sandbox. We hadn't chatted in a while and after catching up on the standard happenings in our lives she revealed what she was really calling about. Turns out, her boyfriend was showing an interest in engaging in a threesome, and she felt like I was someone she needed to talk to about it. Of course I was elated that my friends feel comfortable enough coming to be with situations such as these and really tried to give my best advice on the subject! The conversation did more than make me feel like a good friend, it triggered a genuine interest in what threesomes are really about. True to Bcoll$ form, I have been digging in all sorts of places to get information about the different dynamics of threesomes.


Basic Threesome Definitions ...

Definition of a threesome: When three different people have sex with one another, in the same place, at the same time. These three musketeers can be made up of the same sex, two girls- guy, two guys- one girl, one guy- two transsexuals...ect.

Most Common Threesome: The most common type of threesome from what I gathered from my research is that of two girls- one guy. Most men have a fantasy of sexing up and getting sexed up by two (or more) desirable women at the same time. Men also enjoy the idea (or in this case, the reality) of those two desirable women enjoying each other in a sexual manner for the man to watch and get pleasure from.

Definition of *Guest Star*: The term "guest star" is used primarily when two people who enjoy having sex with one another (they could be in a relationship, sex buddies, friends w/ benefits, ect) decide to invite someone into their bedroom for a night...or two. This guest star can be a mutual friend, an acquaintance or a random individual whom the main two both find attractive and wouldn't mind getting it on with.


How It Goes Down

Step 1- The proposal: In order for a threesome to occur, it needs to be discussed in depth. Typically, the "lets have a threesome" conversation is not brought up at the same time by two people. There is one person who is interested in having this experience and they will have to persuade the other person that it is a good idea. This conversation can definitely be awkward which is why I advise having a plan;
               Things to consider before asking to have a threesome:

• Why are you asking for it? The person you are requesting the threesome from will certainly want the answer to this question. -if it is because you are not being sexually satisfied then adding another person who may satisfy you more so than your current partner might only make things worse for you when the guest star leaves and it is just the two of you in the bedroom. - If it is because you want to have sex with other people without being coined a cheater, you might also consider rethinking this request as well as your current relationship or whatever your current predicament might be. - Finally, if it is because you want to explore your sexuality, expand your sexual horizons, and experience a fantasy in a healthy way...then go ahead, pop the question.
• What qualities would you like the guest star to possess? - This is important to think about before having the threesome conversation. If you want the guest star to be thick, puertorican and tall when you date/bang a white, skinny, vertically challenged person, you will need to explain your reasons for wanting that. 
• What is the confidence level of the person you are asking? If you date/smush someone who you know has self esteem issues then asking for a threesome probably isn't a good idea. He/she will take it personally, feel inadequate and if you go through with the threesome will probably not enjoy it or may try to sabotage it....or worse.
• Step two- Preparing the Search: One he/she says yes to the threesome proposal, the two of you will have to sit down and discuss what kind of person you both have in mind. It is vital that both parties involved agree on the invitee because if one isn't on board with the decision, then it will throw off the whole vibe and you know how important vibes are!

Step three- proposal #2: Once you identify the type of guest star you are interested in inviting into your sex lair, you will need to actually find a real human to extend that invitation to. This could be tricky because it is not everyday that you ask someone a question of this nature, It is also possible that the person you ask will decline your offer. I have been asked to be a guest star twice in my life (when I was a single salamander), which is pretty reckless. I had to respectfully say no both times because I knew and cared about these humans and honestly, couldn't imagine looking at my girl the same after seeing her man's penis....or her va -va voom. Too much. Regardless, I am sure I was asked because I am so open and enthusiastic about all things sexual but that does not mean that I was automatically agree to be a guest star despite it being a somewhat flattering situation. I would suggest that you make a list of humans to ask, don't take the no's personally and go down that list until someone agrees

Step four- actually doing it: Once you cast a guest star, you will have to check in with yourself to make sure it is something you actually and sincerely want to partake in. If so, then I hope you have a great time. I have talked to a few people who did partake in threesomes and below you can find their feedback

• Case Study #1: This case study is about a female who was asked to guest star in a threesome that included two of her friends who were in a long term relationship. She went into the situation thinking that it would a fun experience for all involved. However, once it was all over, the girlfriend (of the boyfriend) involved began to "flip out." She was crying, angry and swearing and screamed at the guest star to leave immediately. The guest star confided to me that she would never, participate in a threesome ever again. She and the other girl are no longer friends.
• Case Study #2: This case study is about a bi-sexual female who was dating a way older man. They were both interested in the "swinging" lifestyle and both reported that they enjoyed their threesome immensely...and would like to have more, more often.
• Case Study #3: This case study is about a same sex threesome in which two of the participants were dating. The other was a person they met on vacation. The threesome experience went well until one of the people (in the relationship) secretly exchanged numbers with the guest star and was continuing to speak with this person behind the others back. Eventually, this came to light and needless to say, it was not pretty and ultimately jaded the threesome experience.
• Case Study #4: This case study is about a female who agreed to have a threesome with her boyfriend under the circumstance that the guest star would be a stranger they would meet by chance. They have been looking for years.... and regretted to report that they have had no luck.

* I was surprised as to how difficult it was to find people who have experienced a threesome. It seems that although it is a highly coveted activity, not too many are actively participating in it. I personally believe that making the decision to have a threesome is a pretty big deal. Just like all big deals, it should be treated thoughtfully and carefully. Whether you are entertaining the idea, in search of actualizing it or are currently reaping the benefits, I wish you the best of luck!!


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