Things I learned this weekend:
1. Never rule out seeing vajayjay's in the bathroom: On Sunday morning after drinking two delicious mimosas for breakfast, we headed out to attend eXXXotica, a porn/ sex convention. This was my first time going to something like this and I was pumped at the prospect of experiencing what this type of event had to offer. As soon we walked in, there were ladies in lingerie dancing on poles, swinging on a giant swing and also riding a see-saw complete with penis handles. Upon observing my surrounding for a good 3 seconds, I immediately knew I was overdressed and was contemplating buying a t- shirt that read "smutlife" but ultimately decided against it.
We had been enjoying ourselves for a while when I felt a booger slowly threatening to hang out of my nose any second. I panicked a little bit and asked Bruce to look up my nose to assess the situation, I knew it was serious when he told me I needed to go to the bathroom to take care of it. I walked into the bathroom on a mission but was thrown off when I noticed that there was 2 or 3 porn stars just casually changing their outfits by the sinks. I felt frustrated by this road block but there was no way that I would be blowing my nose and subsequently checking the paper towel in front of these women who literally represent and ARE sex. When I walked out from my chosen stall feeling liberated from the boogie that was holding me hostage for a few minutes I was shocked that the porn stars who were changing were now just standing there NAKED, shooting the shit like nothing was out of the ordinary. I smiled politely, washed my hands trying to avoid making any kind of eye contact or seeing anymore bare vagina's than I already had and proceeded to return to the convention. I obviously tweeted about my bathroom adventure while making a mental note to remember that nothing in my life should ever be ruled out.
2. Big Beautiful Woman (BBW) might be taking over the porn industry: While walking up and down the aisles of eXXXotica, I was delighted to come across a booth that represented the BBW sector of porn. There were the porn stars of those films signing and taking pictures, they were decked out in all kinds of lingerie and their sassiness could be felt from yards away. I do not watch porn on the regular and was not familiar with the BBW movement. I also wasn't really sure of what BBW meant until I saw these women. These lovely ladies all were rocking fupas, giant boobs, rotund tummies, had more than an ample amount of junk in their trunk and they were OWNING everything about themselves. After the show, I went home and googled this type of porn and was amazed to learn that the following for the BBW is giant! I have included a link that includes pictures of many of the BBW porn stars, if you feel so inclined to do your own investigating! http://www.boobpedia.com/boobs/List_of_BBW_porn_stars
3. You can make your mans' dreams come true; just take a picture with his favorite pornstar!: Sir Bruce A Lot's favorite porn star is this chick named Giana Michael's. She apparently is really spectacular at what she does because lots and lots of other guys are fans of hers too. We weren't sure if she would be attending eXXXotica but as we were leaving a seminar on tantric sex, I spotted her sitting at a both signing pictures and talking to her fans--I also spotted Bruce's face light up. We waited in line to get a chance to meet this broad and when it was our turn and I immediately liked her when she squealed "ooh, a pretty girl!!" I then found myself doing all the talking while my lovely boyfriend stood there with a hilarious and goofy smile on his face. I requested that Giana take a picture with me (that will be hanging in Bruce's bedroom, no doubt) and she asked if she could "touch my boob?" I replied "sure, why not." Here is the picture of Giana and I.
4. Jay-Z fans come from all walks of life: Before this past weekend, I had been to two Hov concerts and my mind was the most blown at both of them. I am not positive if it is because of the fact that I was not remotely sober at either of the two previous concerts or what but I had never noticed all the characters that come out to see Hov (and Kanye) do his thang! At the first concert, in front of us was a crazy white girl who was non- stop grabbing her hair passionately while she kept trying to grind on her non- interested boyfriend. At the second concert, there was a row of guys in front of us who snuck in Hennessy, Alize and about 6 or 7 blunts and threw themselves an entire party, to the left of us was a girl who was intrepretive dancing to every single song that was played throughout the entire concert and to the right of us was a guy who looked extremely similar to the homosexual Indian man from Weeds. Clearly, this is just more proof that goes to demonstrate that Jay-z really is the best rapper alive. Here I am, being a ROC girl.
<>,
Bcoll$
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