Ten Commandments

The ten commandments from the bible are in my opinion, genius. Basically the ten commandements are just 10 simple rules that anyone with a conscience should be able to follow; they are essentially a blueprint on how to not be a dueschbag. Sure, I was raised a Roman Catholic and at one point in time didn't need wikipedia to double check what the commandments were but it's safe to say that somewhere in the last 10 years, I began to live by my own commandments.


The Ten Commandments of Bcoll$

1. Thou shall not be a dumbass: For some reason it has become completely acceptable to be a total idiot in society. It seems that more dumb you act, the more attention and sometimes even money you will recieve. I personally think that there is nothing more unnattractive than someone portraying themselves as an unintelligent Ulyssa and personally will strive to never become one. [Ulyssa is an actual name by the way, I just googled it.]

2. Thou shall always get it in with life: I am of the school of thought that there is fun to be had in every situation. I stopped taking myself too seriously around the age of  6 and have since then really been getting a kick out of being alive. If I spend a day being miserable and negative then that is a 100% waste of a day and I'll kick myself in the ass for it later. P diddy had a tweet that resonated with me a few days ago,  "you'll never get to live this day again. Think about it" and it made me feel like 1. Diddy and I should chill and 2. that he's absouletly correct and I appreciated him for it.

3. Thou shall follow the girl code to the best of my ability: You just don't sleep with your friends boyfriends, ex boyfriends, ex crushes, current crushes, ect, ect. I understand that sometimes mistakes happen, but I believe that a mistake means that it happens one time and then never again. If I ever found myself in bed multiple times with someone my friend likes/liked/loves/loved I would really need to re-evaulate what kind of person I am. I absolutely am an advocate of people satisfying their sexual needs but never at the expense of someone elses feelings. Good girlfriends are hard to come by, and the girl code is a terrific tool to use to assure that your friendship can be preserved for as long as you want it to be!

4. Thou shall always spoil yourself when needed or deserved: I do not like to be spoiled by other people, I have always prefered to spoil myself. If my back hurts and I have some extra money in my pocket, you better believe I'll be getting myself a massage. If my hair looks reckless then I will be in the salon asap in hopes to stop looking like a hot mess. I think that people who never do anything for themselves are silly, usually miserable and the opposite of a good time. I'd much rather be a diva on the low than feel like crappola all the time.

5.Thou shall always be a pleasant human: I have found that being pleasant has gotten me way further in life than the times I have been a nasty Nadine. Being nice to people has gotten me jobs, discounts, hugs, friends, free drinks, extra time to pay a bill, out of tickets, better grades even when I did not deserve them, boyfriends and the list goes on. Being pleasant has way too many advantages for me to ever consider crossing over to the dark side.

6. Thou shall not drink more than 2 long island ice teas in one sitting: Everyone has that one drink that puts them over the edge and makes them really loose their mind and act like a baby gorilla. Long island ice teas are this for me and it is best not only for my life but for everyone who will be in a 5 mile radius from me to abstain from them as best I can.

7. Thou shall never give up on becoming a white female rapper: When I was in high school "Made" on MTV was the one of my favorite shows. I would fantasize about one day getting casted for the show and having missy elliot coming to my school and transform me into a magnificent MC. I imagined my skills would be so top notch that I would be compared to the greatest female rappers of our day; missy, lil kim, foxy brown, eve and the underground version of Nicki Minaj. My interest in the hip hop scene has only increased with age and I'm still waiting for my time to hop on someones track and spit straight fire. My time will come.

8. Thou shall read as many books as possible. Nothing in this world is better to me than curling up with a great book and reading it in one sitting. Reading is an excellent way to keep yourself relevant, learn new vocabulary words, gain new knowledge and also transports you away from your own world and into someone elses; it's like a mini vacation. I could suggest a fancy pants novel for you to read and feel really sophisticated but instead I am going to tell you all to go read a book my the 'African American erotica' author named ZANE. Don't ask questions, just do it- I promise you won't be disappointed!

9. Hug people. I'm a touchy feely kind of girl and I don't think there's any reason to hide that. If I think you would benefit from a hug, I'm going to give you one. I don't give those bullshit type of hugs either, I give embraces. Hugs make people feel good, it's a kind of affection that speaks volumes without being sexual. If we have not yet had a chance to hug it out, then I believe that you are missing out and would be more than willing to hook you up with one the next time we see eachother.

10. Thou shall always speak up. I used to be an awkward ardvark and not know how to properly articulate what I was trying to say. This is luckily a flaw that has since fixed itself and now, as you probably can tell, I never shut up. I'm becoming more and more aware of how important it is to speak up and let people know who are and what you are all about because if you don't then they never will know. 'The Twilight Zone' would never have existed if I didn't feel the need to speak up and I mean, where would we all be then? ;0)


Embracing the shit out of you,
Bcoll$