Hi little llamas! Welcome to my very first public blog. I'm excited to be here and I hope you are too. I plan on using this blog as a forum to say whatever the hell I want, however I'd like to say it. I'm naturally a pretty happy chick but there are a few things I do to keep that way and I've decided to share them with all you beautiful baby bugs, enjoy!
1. Create a "this is the best day" play list
Every morning when I wake up the first thing I do is reach for my phone. First I turn off the obnoxious, super loud alarm coming from it, then I check my twitter/ facebook and finally, I go to my "this is the best day" playlist and begin to listen to my favorite music. Some days I'll choose to hit shuffle and will be pleasantly surprised by whatever tune comes on. Other times, like this morning, I'll choose the song I'd like to start my day with. Today I needed motivation to work out, so I chose "Baby Got Back" nothing inspires me more than the line "so cosmo says you're fat, but I ain't down with that." Whether I'm shaking my ass to Sir Mix A lot, whipping my hair to Willow Smith or letting my mind wander with "falsetto" by the Dream, I'm starting my day on an extremely positive note. Try it and you won't be disappointed.
2.Have Sex
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a huge fan of sex. I love everything about it and encourage everyone in my life (except my parents, EW) to have it as much as possible. Sex is scientifically proven to be a natural antidepressant and it also burns calories. I do however, realize that it's not always possible to have sex with another person but it always possible to have sex with yourself. There is no shame in your masturbation game- if you don't like to have sex with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? If you're a girl, you should probably invest in a vibrator, the only time they don't deliver is if the batteries die. If you're a man, you've probably been jerking off since you learned you had a penis, so I know you get what I'm saying. Bottom line here is, get it in...it's good for you.
3. Surround Yourself with People Who Actually Like you
I've noticed that a lot of people have "friends" who don't really even like them all that much. If you have a friend who is mean to you, sleeps with your boyfriend or any guy/girl you've had a crush on, only wants to hang out when there's something in it for them--you should probably just stop being friends with them. I know it might be easier said than done, but if you're over the age of 12, it's time to get it together and act like a grown up. Rev Run once tweeted "go where you're adored and not ignored" and if "Run's House" taught me anything, it taught me that Rev Run is ALWAYS right. Also, follow him on twitter, it's a good life decision.
4. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo
I am a weirdo, it's just a fact. I have always been a weirdo and have known it ever since I noticed I was the only kid in my neighborhood making mud pies and serving them to my invisible friends. I remember I tried to conceal my weirdo tendencies for a while throughout high school but it back fired and only made me even more awkward. It wasn't until college that I realized that being a fucking weirdo was actually what made me kind of cool. On the days when I am totally at peace with my inner weirdness are my most fun days--for instance, I recently sang "living la vida loca" completely off key at a local Salvadorean bar in town where nobody spoke even a little bit of English. I was 100% sober and almost peed my pants laughing during this performance. I never would have made this hilarious memory if I was worried if I was going to look like a weirdo. Be you, boo boo.
5. Make Fun Plans
Money is tight for most of us but that's no reason to be 'Boring Bertha's.' It's important to have things to look forward to--whether it's dinner with your best friend at your favorite restaurant, buying tickets for the "Watch the Throne" tour (like I will be on August 8) or even having a completely cost free movie night at someones house. If you don't have anything to look forward to, you probably won't be excited to wake up in the morning. So, if you don't have any fun plans in the future, you should probably make some and maybe they should include me.
6. Do a Little Dance, Make a Little Love, Get Down Tonight
I dance every single day. Sometimes I'll put a little sassy outfit on and go grind at a club somewhere. Other days, I feel like doing the electric slide, or maybe the macarena or I'll decide to do my new favorite "air hump"dance move at a completely inappropriate time. Maybe dancing isn't your thing, that's okay, go Youtube "do it like Bernie" and guarantee a smile will sneak up on that adorable little face of yours. If all else fails, go to a strip club. Dancing is just one of those things that historically entertains and makes human beings happy.
7. Be Nice
We live in a world where people are just not very nice. That mean negativity is contagious but what most people forget is that that positivity is just as contagious. So, get the stick out of your ass, say your please and thank you's, crack a smile every now and then and you will slowly start to see that people aren't being so miserable to you anymore. I'm not always sweet as pie, I have my bitchy days just like anyone else, I simply try to keep to myself on those days. After all, it's really not anyone else fault that I'm pmsing or sexually frustrated (which are usually the two key factors to me being a grumpy McGrumperson)
8. Like yourself
Self Explanatory. There's only one you, don't waste it.
So just to sum up this gem of a first blog, I basically just gave you the easiest advice ever. If you don't want to take it, that's cool. At least now you know that there's a reason I smile/ laugh like a goof ball all of the time, I don't have a gas problem.
See ya next time Suckas!
Bcoll$
No comments:
Post a Comment